Helping Your Child Cope with Separation Anxiety During Divorce

The dissolution of a marriage is not just an upheaval in the lives of parents but can also spark a profound crisis for children. One of the most common challenges young ones face during divorce is separation anxiety. This gripping fear of being away from a parent or caregiver can manifest in a myriad of ways, impacting their daily lives, relationships, and emotional well-being. It is essential for parents to understand separation anxiety in children and be equipped with the right strategies to guide them through it.

Understanding Separation Anxiety in Children

Separation anxiety in children can be a difficult and emotional experience. Defined as the fear or worry of being separated from a loved one, it often manifests strongly in children of divorcing parents.

Signs to watch out for may include clinginess, fear of abandonment, sleep disturbances, and changes in behaviour. Depending on their age, children may express these feelings in different ways, such as younger children becoming more irritable or teenagers withdrawing from social interactions. This feeling of uncertainty can rise to unmanageable levels, affecting their ability to concentrate in school or even to enjoy activities they once loved.

Parental separation can present unique challenges for children, such as worrying about their future and fearing being left alone, making it important to provide understanding and support to children during divorce.

General Strategies for Supporting Your Child/Teen During Separation

Providing a safe and nurturing environment during this tumultuous time is key. Here are some general strategies for helping children cope with separation.

• Maintain a Sense of Security: Maintaining a sense of security, through routines and consistent communication, helps anchor children.
• Open Communication and Reassurance: Open dialogue about feelings and upcoming changes can alleviate some of the unknown, as well as ensure that your child feels heard and understood.
• Co-Parenting and Transitions: Co-parenting should ideally be a collaborative effort aimed at minimizing conflict and maintaining a stable transition between households.
• Build Resilience and Coping Mechanisms: Building resilience and coping mechanisms, such as engaging in hobbies or spending time with supportive relatives, can bolster your child against the challenges they face.

Age-Specific Strategies for Coping with Separation

The key to managing separation anxiety in children is understanding that different age groups face unique struggles.

Younger Children (Ages 3-7):

Younger children often don’t have the verbal skills to express themselves fully. For them, using simple language and clear explanations, along with age-appropriate books and stories, can be beneficial. Continual reassurance and engaging in comforting activities together can help them feel more secure.

Middle Childhood (Ages 8-12):

Middle childhood can amplify a child’s memory and comprehension, so honest conversations and addressing their specific concerns are important when helping children cope with separation. Encourage them to maintain connections with friends and family outside of the home so they develop a stronger support system.

Teenagers (Ages 13-18):

Teenagers need both independence and support. They’ll appreciate honest conversations about the family’s changing dynamics, and above all, they need to be reminded that their feelings are valid and that they are not alone. Encouraging them to find healthy outlets for their emotions and the time they spend away from either parent can be vital for their mental health.

When to Seek Professional Help

In some cases, the anxiety may persist and affect the child’s daily life. This is when professional help, such as anxiety counselling and child therapy, becomes essential. Highlighting the triggers for severe anxiety can help parents determine when seeking professional support is necessary.

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can help children develop coping skills and strategies to deal with their anxiety. It teaches them to recognize their negative thoughts and develop new ways of thinking that can lead to positive outcomes. Through one-on-one sessions with a psychotherapist, children can learn how to manage their feelings and emotions and develop the skills they need to thrive during and after a divorce.

Schedule a Personalized Counselling Session with Family Matters Centre to Discuss Your Child’s Needs

Divorce is a difficult time for families, especially for children who may struggle with separation anxiety. Fortunately, Family Matters Centre offers a supportive and nurturing environment for children to cope with these transitions. Not only do our teen and child counsellors provide support for children dealing with separation anxiety during a divorce, but we also provide counselling for the whole family unit.

Our co-parenting and divorce counselling in Burlington, Oakville, Milton, Hamilton, and the surrounding areas can help families navigate the challenges of separation and provide a range of services, including teen counselling, therapy, and educational programs. Family Matters Centre offers a safe space for children to express their feelings and emotions, and we provide tools and strategies to help children cope with the changes that are happening in their lives.

If you’re looking to help your child navigate divorce and deal with separation anxiety, talk to one of our child therapists today. We’re here to help you and your family through this tough time. Call us today at (905) 466-8023 or fill out our contact form to request an appointment.