Many people do not realize that workplace bullies exist. Chances are, if you are being bullied, you at a loss as to the best ways to handle the bully in the office. It is difficult to deal with an adult bully because workplace bullying is often not well understood. What is worse is that when the bully is a person of authority, dealing with the bully will is even harder. There are shaky rules for handling an adult bullies there are limited harassment laws that focus on a protected class of people, so stopping an adult bully can be very challenging if not impossible. Here are a few tips that have helped me when dealing with bullies.
Realize that you are not a victim, instead you are a target. Bullies tend to target people that have something they want but don't have such as social power, wonderful talent, or special abilities. They would love to take you down a notch. Know that as a target, they see you as special. You didn't do anything to cause yourself to be a target, but once you find you're a target, don't see yourself as a victim.
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You will be criticized and tempted to believe what the bully has to say is true. If you are unduly criticized or falsely accused of wrongdoing by a bully, ask for substantiated evidence of these claims and record in writing. You will need to keep a detailed written account of each false accusation and instance of bullying. Being able to prove that you are constantly singled out for no reason and are the target of frequent attacks will go a long way to deal with an office bully in the long run. Your notes are especially critical if you are a person in a protected class. Keeping notes will aid you if you want to make a case.
Remember, bullies love target practice. Find ways to avoid the bully. You need to give yourself a break because dealing with bullies is difficult work and the bully is on the hunt to take down targets. Dont expose yourself to the bully unless it is essential.
Be smart about who you talk about your concerns with. Others may know and agree that the person you are dealing with is a bully, but they are not willing to take on a target themselves. Others will more than likely agree with the bully just so that they don't get bullied. Others will be willing to give you advice about how to not get bullied (trying to somehow convince you that you being a target is your fault) and not take on your cause and help you.
If you are willing and ready to fight, you may be able to contact your union or others within your organization. Not all organizations or unions will help employees address an adult bully. You can also take your bullying problems to your manager or supervisor, unless they are the one doing the bullying. It is not usually a good idea to skip the proper hierarchy, but if a supervisor of manager is the one bullying you, it may be a great idea to speak with their higher-up.
Last, get a copy of your company's harassment and bullying policies so you are fully versed in understanding your rights are within the company policy.
In the end, remember, you need to take care of you. Keep your chin up and remember others don't define you, YOU DO.
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Posted in Health and Medical Post Date 11/26/2018